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Sunday, September 19th, 2010

To my cherished and beloved friend,

I cannot ignore what you have shared with me tonight. I should be sleeping but I cannot sleep because my heart is grieved for you. I closed my eyes and said a prayer, but I did not find peace. I will say again, as you know of my heart for you, that I love you. My motive is love, my message is not my own, and at the risk of seeming insensitive to you, I must deliver the message without fail. What I have to share will not be easy to read, but your life depends on it. Truly. So please read with your heart open, your arms outstretched for the truth, and your eyes on Jesus alone.

You must put an end to the LIE that ending your own life would be best for everyone in your family. You have entertained these thoughts for some time and in doing so, have offended the Lord and have made a playground of your mind for all the demons of hell. You have opened the gate and invited in lie after lie instead of holding to the truth of the Holy God who bought you with His own blood, and brought you into His own family. I know your strength fails you, and you are weary from the constant fight for relief from your pain, your debt, your troubles, your fears, and your wounds, but you must not give up.

Who are you to decide for God when your time is done? Is He not the One who gave your first breath, and the One who will take your last from you at the time He has appointed? Is He not the One who found you, hopeless and broken, and gave you a new hope? Is He not the One who gave everything for you…His own life, and you to throw it back in His face with disrespect? Woe to you, woman. Do not kindle the anger of the Lord against yourself.

You believe ending your life would resolve all of your family’s problems, but that too is a LIE. You make many excuses in your mind (and out loud) reasoning why this is your best, or only, or most appealing option. What you don’t realize is that those reasons, every one of them, arrive with a return address from the pit of hell. Not one of those reasons are true. Each one is a deceitful ploy to entice you, draw you slowly in, to a place where you give the demonic forces in your vicinity permission to devour you.

But not only will they devour you, they will devour everything you love. They will claw at your precious innocent children, speaking the same lies to them that you have believed. If you give up your life in this manner, not only will they grow up without a mother to love and guide them, you will have taught your children:

1) That God is insignificant and that there is no reason to acknowledge Him or surrender their lives to His care. With your actions, you will have taught them that He is not sovereign, not trustworthy, not compassionate, and not kind. You will irreparably damage them in ways that cannot be seen on the outside, and they will pay a huge price for the choice you made to end your life.

2) That they (the children) were not reason enough for you to choose life, in spite of all your many hardships. They will blame themselves for your actions, and you cannot possibly know how great their pain would be…both from the loss of your spiritual covering and emotional guidance, but also from the gate you have left open to let hell inside their hearts in order to tear them to shreds.

3) That life is not a gift, and there is no reason to treat it as such. You will have taught them that there is no hope, and that giving up is a ‘noble’ choice, when it is not.

4) You will confuse their ability to recognize and take hold of the truth. You will have taught them that love is not stronger than death (when it truly is), that there is no difference between truth and lie (when there truly is), that there is no difference between God and the enemy (which there clearly is).

5) You will plant seeds of bitterness in their lives that will lead to poor choices and unimaginable pain, having cut their legs out from under them, and toppled their entire world all around them. The inheritance you give them will be that of rotting, decaying, putrid lies.

So I will boldly say, that ending your life will actually not solve ANY of their problems. It will create more problems that are bigger than your present problems, and you will have snuck out and left the mess to your two year old and four year old. Don’t be foolish or selfish. You may feel like it cannot get any worse than it is right now, but it can if you will not listen to the voice of your Shepherd.

You must no longer entertain thoughts of ending your life. You must put evil away from yourself and close the gate you’ve opened to hell. You must silence the lying tongues that are speaking into your ears, and you must humble yourself before God and seek His help. You must obey Him on His terms, not your own. You must choose every day to put yourself in His care, under His covering, and trust that He is willing and able to keep all that you commit to Him. He is worthy of your trust. Is there anything that is impossible for God? The answer is no. Nothing is impossible for Him.

You are responsible for what you choose and what you do. Run to the One who saves. Listen to His voice only. Do whatever He tells you and do not bargain with Him.

The truth: You are one of God’s own. All of heaven has rejoiced over your coming into God’s family, and all of heaven is fighting for you now. The enemy has no power over you except that which you give him, and you cannot give him any room to take the beauty of your blessings and deceive you into throwing them away like trash.

I love you and will continue to pray.