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Written on April 13, 2011 by emily

Rhythmic pin over whole wheat cakes, spreading them thinner with each stroke. Laughter dances through the house with my children, and the simplicity of life settles on hearts in the quietness between giggles. I never knew the inside things would be the ones to broaden my horizons, to offer new and radically different perspectives. Solitude, in the family sense, wasn’t really what I had in mind before I was a bride. But here I am, inside. With little grubby hands and wide sparkling eyes. I hardly remember life before motherhood.

They say its like a jungle out there, but I know – moms know – it is a jungle in here too. Joyful little monkeys swinging from vine to branch (or cushion to cushion) wild, without any thought of consequence. Their exuberance keeps me young. Not that I’m old yet, but some days I feel it. It is impossible to behold and truly appreciate the wonder of youth without being touched by it. I am touched and rejuvenated, and still very aware of my responsibility to grow them strong, wise, ready for the out-there jungle.

Tortillas rolled out, I am spread thin and rough around the edges. Spread thin to hold more. Spread thin for the flexibility to roll with the jungle in here. And I am at peace with being rough around the edges. The most interesting people I know are the quirky ones…The ones who understand that the way to squeeze the most out of life is to live without care to how perfect the edges are. Risks taken. Lungs filled. Soul stirred. Edges frayed from being in the game, not checked out of it. I’m in. I’m in deep, and I love it that way.

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