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Written on November 16, 2010 by emily

I’m just an ordinary girl with an extraordinary love growing inside my veteran heart. Been to war and back again, and though a million pieces once lay broken and estranged from each other, love drew them together and began stitching, healing, restoring. Yes, I’m just an ordinary girl. But now that I’m filled with the Spirit of the Living God, now that my lungs are filled with the breath of the One who gives life, I am extraordinary. It’s not the things I do or the things I don’t do that make me so, for truly, I do not do what I wish to do, and so far, I’ve failed at trying to not do the things I shouldn’t. It’s not my efforts that have transported me from brokenness to joy. It’s my surrender. That’s all. He takes my surrender which is something akin to tilled soil, pours out His Spirit, and shines His glory over me.

Beauty. Such beauty. His, not mine, but what a delight to reflect it back to Him with a grateful heart. It’s a wonder that with the grace He gives, I often cannot give grace to myself or others. It’s a wonder that with the patience He has, I so easily lose mine. It’s a wonder that He is a perfect model of humility, and still I’m slow to put my pride away from me.

Yes, He took the broken pieces of my heart and began stitching them back together. Inside out. The inside things are now on the outside, and it’s much tougher to ignore them. My eyes have seen His glory…born in humility, servant of all, perfect in holiness. He is the inside out, upside down God. He cares not for appearances, stature, or fame. He is smitten with the simple heart that comes and declares their dependence on Him. It’s simple, but not easy.

2 Peter 1

²Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord;

Multiply grace and peace in my life, Lord! Keep repairing my defective heart, stitching with precision and intention, and teaching me more about Your heart. I long to please You, to be a delight and a joy to You in everything. Keep turning me upside down and inside out, shaking loose and clearing away my fallen, sinful nature. Give me a new heart, a new mind, a new way of navigating life. Giving instead of taking. Serving instead of consuming. Blessing others instead of wasting the time and talents you’ve given me.

³seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.

Why do I feel poor, Lord, when I am infinitely rich in you? Get behind me Satan. I will not believe that I am deficient. I will not believe that I am not able (with Christ who strengthens me). I will not believe that I am not the very apple of the Father’s eye. His favorite. His beloved one. I am His daughter, and heir to His magnificent kingdom. You have granted me everything, Lord. All You require is my humble, surrendered heart, and I am here to give it to You. Every day.

⁴For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.

To apprehend His precious and magnificent promises, I must escape the corruption of my soul. Blessing cannot be recognized in the midst of sin. We hide away, close our eyes, close our hearts, and cut off the pathway of blessing so that it cannot reach us. Help me, Lord. Help me live openly, honestly, authentically, with eyes and heart open to all that You have for me.

⁵Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, ⁶and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, ⁷and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

These are the things I long for You to grow in me: excellence in my character, knowledge of Your holiness, humility and self-control, perseverance through every tough day, diligence in doing good, kindness in my speech and love in every action.

⁸For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

May I never be useless or unfruitful. May I never waste the days You’ve given.

⁹For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.

Let me never forget where You have brought me from, or the kindness which You have shown to me, undeserved. Don’t let me be blind or short-sighted and miss the beauty of what You have.

¹⁰Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; ¹¹for in this way the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be abundantly supplied to you.

Help me be diligent, Lord, by reminding me of Your truth. Hour by hour, minute by minute. I long to be with You in Your Kingdom.

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