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Written on August 31, 2010 by emily

I’m always searching for a big chunk of time in which I can write. The problem is, I don’t have big chunks of time that are free for such things despite having an overflow of inspiration and desire to be writing about the many things on my heart. I’ve been carrying around a Moleskine journal with me everywhere I go and have been jotting down shorthand notes of the things I hope to come back to when I have the time…if I have the time. The list is growing longer, and if I don’t start now, I may never get to some of the topics. So I guess I’ll have to do this ‘fly-by’ writing. It’s not how I’d prefer to write…I rather like the well-crafted, finished product approach, but right now you get the raw, unedited, just how it spills out of my heart version. My guess is some of you will like that better anyway.

People continue to ask me the question, ‘How do you do it? What’s your secret?’. I’m assuming they are referring to the many facets of my life and how I practically handle motherhood, business, ministry, and the other personal passions I have on a daily basis. For those of you who just inched up on your chair, interested in my answer, you might be disappointed. There is no secret. There is no shortcut to success, and there is no circumventing the process I’ve gone through to be living in the very center of blessing…the very center of every desire of my heart. I couldn’t begin to relay the entire process for you, but in short, the ‘secret’ to my success…to my joy…is the very simple fact that every day I choose to throw myself into the holy fire of God. I’m no pyro, but you’ll find me in the fire every day. I willingly go there, knowing that what I gain in God’s care is worth everything I must give up in order to be there. Everyone gets to choose what they want for themselves, and if you want joy and hope that endure every trial, there are things you must sacrifice.

Your agenda. Toss it out. It won’t happen the way you plan it anyway, and you’ll only cause yourself more anguish if you cling to your agenda like it’s your only hope. Cling to Jesus instead. He doesn’t burn up in the fire. But if you’re holding tight to your agenda, and the fire sweeps around you, it will be only moments before you’re grasping at ashes that no longer provide you direction. Instead, recognize that Jesus is a lamp, lighting your way in the darkness. If you don’t follow Him, you risk being swallowed up in blackness.

Your ego. If we’re to consider Jesus as an example of how we are to live, humility is the way to go. You cannot be more humble than the glorious God who came as a baby, and you cannot give more than He gave in giving His life for all people. So if you think you’ve given ‘enough’, or if you think you’re doing pretty good on the spectrum of goodness, see if your ego is staring back at you when you look in the mirror. If you see Jesus’ face there instead, (or goofy jelly-smeared preschooler faces), you’re probably on the right road.

Your stuff. You think that $90 calculator you’ve had since high school is yours? Nope. It now belongs to your four year old who thinks its some kind of ancient telephone. Your nice flat-screen TV? Now a canvas for toddler yogurt painting. Your dapper fashion-forward clothes? Snot rags. This is my life, and yet, I guarantee you I’m happier than someone with every lavish material desire at their fingertips. Plus, if we’re returning to the fire analogy, there are very few things in life that are not flammable and really, eternally worthless.

Your perspective. God just doesn’t see things the way we do. I think I’m a pretty smart girl, but I’m continually discovering how blind I am to His goodness. His patience. His blessing. His will. His creativity. His holiness. If I want to see with His eyes, I’ve got to let Him touch mine with the mud that makes blind people see.

So how do I do it? I surrender to the flames. I let God take the things that are unnecessary away so He can give me the things that matter…the things that last. He’s taken my sorrow and given me joy instead. He’s taken my selfish ambitions and given me an eternal purpose instead. He’s taken my emptiness and has made it full. Overflowing, actually. He’s taken my selfish and hardened heart and made it a beautifully sculpted pitcher to be filled by Him and poured out to my family and the others He brings to my door.

I’m learning that faithfulness and diligence are not some noble beautiful pieces of china to be stored away in safety. They’re the tools you take with you into the ditch, into the mire, so you can carve the ground, collect the rainwater from heaven, and make beautiful the garden of God’s family. It’s not easy work, and it is not glamorous work, but if you want joy like my joy–if you want blessing like my blessings, trade your jealous and covetous heart in for a new one. That’s what I did, and I’m not looking back.

Like a log in the fire, Your holy flames encircle me, breaking me down in a beautiful way. I glow from the inside out because Your flame is in me. I burn hotter as Your Spirit breaks me free from bondage and the unnecessary things fall away. I understand more than ever that my legacy is You. My home is You. My comfort is You. My hope is You. My freedom is You. My longing is You.

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