A Quiver Full…

Written on October 24, 2009 by emily

We’ve been a full house for ten days now…Three kids, two parents, one happy family. From the outside, it might look picture perfect. I’ll be the first to tell you that it is not perfect, but it is still wonderful. We are truly delighted to have our new addition, and happiness really is bursting from our hearts…but it would be horribly untrue for me to say this has been an easy transition. It has been very challenging, but as the days pass, I do think we’re all settling in and finding our groove again. To be fair to ourselves, we’ve been piling up major life transitions for a few years now. We’ve been married just over four years, have welcomed 3 kids into our lives, and probably couldn’t count our other major adventures in that time on two hands. Five years ago, I didn’t know how to cook anything but top ramen and fish sticks. I had very few household skills and relatively little experience with small children. I had no familiarity with the many challenges that mothers navigate on behalf of their children including nutrition, health, development, discipline, etc. Five years ago, I was a college girl with dreams for my life that are very different from what my dreams have now become. That isn’t to express any disappointment in the changes…on the contrary, I’ve been glad to send my old dreams a sailin’ in exchange for the new dreams that have come from seeing life from a radically new perspective.

So here we are, just a few months into year five, learning how to live as a family of five. The older kids seem to love and accept the newest member of our family, and it really is hard to imagine what life was like without him even though we’re only ten days in. Just today, a friend was holding the baby and asked Alaina if it would be ok if they kept our baby for a while, teasing of course. Alaina got instantly concerned and teary-eyed and said, “No, you can’t. He’s our baby. We need to take him home with us. He’s not your baby,” she said. We had to reassure her that no one was going to keep our baby. It was really sweet to see her attachment and concern. Each day, Judah has aggressively pursued opportunities to hold the baby, which also includes not-so-gentle nuzzles and pats to the head and face. He seems to be learning gentleness, slowly. His enthusiasm for the little one is unmatched in the family, and it is clear that he loves his little brother. That said, both of the older kids have been challenging in other ways.

It is quite amazing how drastically family dynamic changes with the introduction of a new little one. Our two older kids seem suddenly much larger and much older than they were just two weeks ago. Of course the comparison to nine pounds of huggable goo would make them seem so, but they really are different as well. They’re both being stretched a bit, and the most challenging part of the last ten days has been their attitudes and behavior. Both have been whining up a storm and seem to have pulled the plug on their listening abilities. It has been a delicate balance trying to nurture them through this transition and having to simply lay down the boundaries necessary to keep our family floating…all while the parents are as tired as bears in winter. We’re all learning that caring for each other is a constant goal–one we have to work hard at every moment of the day whether we’re tired or rested, grumpy or giddy. Patience and diligence are pre-requisites for this season of life, and we’re getting to practice them both, possibly more than we ever wanted to.

I’m certain that the coming weeks will bring more progress in these areas, as we learn together how to order our household as unto the Lord. For now, I think I’ll keep hugging each of the kids close and asking God to show me just what I need to do in order to best serve my family in this season.

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