Musings of Maternity Life

Written on October 4, 2009 by emily

Those of you who are not nearby haven’t been privy to the breathtaking (ok, so maybe its more like shocking) view of my presently extremely large belly. It is an odd torpedo-shape, and nearly every ‘knowing’ woman who has guessed at the gender of the baby has been correct. You would think I have a sign on the front that says, “BOY”! Well, it is a boy, and although I don’t think I previously ever imagined having two boys in a row (the plan was to have a space after the first boy), I’m excited to discover the joys and challenges of having two boys so close in age.

I’m actually due 5 days from now and have experienced the full range of emotions and experiences during this pregnancy. As always, things have gone remarkably well. I am thankful to have been given a body that seems in every way to be made for reproducing. I’ve never had much morning sickness. I’ve never had any complications. And as I’ve previously noted, my labors are insanely fast. The last one was 2.5 hours. That has made me a little concerned and anxious for how this labor will go. I’ve had dreams about giving birth on the corner of Wilshire and Westwood Blvd. in the middle of rush hour because we just couldn’t make it to the hospital quickly enough…dreams about giving birth in my own bathroom in the middle of the night because I woke up (in my dream) and had literally ten minutes before the baby arrived. I’ve had dreams about being in church, the supermarket, the mall, and all sorts of other strange places, and I’m still offering prayers to the heavens that it won’t go down quite like that.

About a month ago, I was dealing with some pretty major anxiety about this birth. Partly because of the dreams mentioned, and partly because this being my third child in 3 years, I haven’t had any time to forget the trauma of the last one. Oh yes, it is a miracle and a magical experience in so many ways. I don’t mean to downplay that part, but holy moly, I know a little too much about what is coming my way. Fortunately, thanks to the comforting of many friends, many prayers, and the resolve that comes in late-pregnancy, I’m feeling less anxious and more ready than ever to welcome my son.

I’m kind of amused by the looks I get when I’m out and about. As mentioned, the belly really is hanging out there, and I see concern (and sometimes alarm) on people’s faces when I pass. I think some of them really are worried about what might happen if I cry out, grasp my belly, and yell, “I’m having a baby!” I’ve almost wanted to do it just for giggles, but I am quite aware of what happened to the boy who cried “Wolf!” My labors being as they are, I can’t afford to take any chances with that. Ha.

I know some of you reading have given birth, and some of you reading have not. I guess if I could leave you with any thought about bearing a child, I would say that despite all discomforts and all the challenges that come with it, there is no more missional, purposeful, and fulfilling endeavor than bringing an eternal soul into the world. Of course, the birthing is just the beginning, and the mothering that comes after is an important part of the mission. It might seem overwhelming or intimidating, but we are all learning as we go, even those of us who have “done it before”. I am comforted to know that even though Jesus never gave birth, He endured pain and suffering that I could never survive. Even now, as I prepare to give birth any ol’ minute, I tell myself, “He endured the Cross for me.” I know my body was made for this. I know that sacrifice is required to bring forth life. I am focused on the great gain that will come…a precious little boy who will take on a name meaning: “The Lord is My God”. It is truly my declaration as I face the coming days. The Lord is my God and I will trust Him.

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