June 18 – Freezing Time

Written on June 18, 2009 by emily

Sometimes it would be nice to freeze time. I’m all for progress and change, when its ordained by God, but sometimes it is hard to wrap my mind around just how quickly things are changing. We’ll always have our memories…well…for as long as one might have their memory…but memories aren’t the same  as moments when you’re in them. In moments, you feel skin. You hear voices. The people you love are tangible, and the essence of who they are in that moment are as real as anything else. With memories, the details are a little bit fuzzier, and the loved ones are a little more distant. I guess in a manner of speaking, I mean to say that memories can’t compare with moments, and sometimes we’re a little too busy to recognize how fleeting the moments are.

I’m very aware of the momentary nature of the season I’m in. My children are young, delightfully round and roly-poly despite their growing toddler bodies. They’re curious and joyful, and interested in the simplest things. They’re full of love, and know nothing of censoring themselves. I hear curious questions about noses and boobies and doggies and babies. I love that there is a time in life that no concern must be paid to social norms or expectations, and in the years of innocence there is freedom unlike any other. I love the contrast of naivety of youth and the wisdom of age. And although I feel a few more steps into wisdom than maybe others my age are, my children take me back to that carefree place where life isn’t about calculating and strategizing…discerning and being overly aware of the evils of this age. I love to be reminded that purity of heart and purity of mind really is more beautiful than stature or station.

There is obviously a time to grow up, and little ones couldn’t be little if it weren’t for the older ones who went before. Little ones wouldn’t be safe to explore the world in the way they do if someone else weren’t guarding and guiding them. I’m quite honored to now be in that place for my children, but I believe the Lord would have me remember that even though I wear a mother’s hat inside my home…Inside His home I am a child. And there is a space in which He wants me to be free to ask and explore and love without reservation. There is a place in which I am loved no matter my faults or fears, and there is a safety and certainty that isn’t found on this side of heaven except in His arms.

Thats the beauty of surrendering to God. The complicated things become simple, and the freedom you thought you outgrew is still there in the quiet place where Jesus is calling to you. There is so much to discover in His love. Things that don’t always make sense to the sensible adult mind. But take my word for it. Goodness, take HIS word for it. There are riches beyond all the gold in the world, and each one of us have an open invitation to partake of them.

Still, I might like to freeze time while my children are this age. I know that can’t happen, but I can raise them to hear the voice of their heavenly father, so hopefully even though they will grow into adults, they will be reminded regularly that childhood is not something you leave behind entirely. I’ll do my best to invest myself in all the moments I now have, so when these moments become memories I will have the joy of knowing I didn’t just skip over the time I had. Little ones, you fill my days with joy and blessing.

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